Help change the world!

I hand picked you people because the world needs some love, we know this! It hurts my heart to see it struggle everyday and I struggle with what my role is in loving back to a peaceful place. 

Good news though! Here is something you can do to change the world... nothing big and hugely taxing but here are a couple ideas:
- spread kindness everyday "pay it forward"
- compliment someone on a job well done
- thank someone for going out of their way
- thank someone for being them
- give someone a great big hug from your heart
- hold a door open for someone
- be gracious instead of spiteful
- be courageous
- see pain instead of anger and the opportunity to heal
- pick up litter in your office (even if its not yours!)
- tell someone they look great
- live from a place of community instead of individualism
- be truthful
- live from compassion

... I have been really stressed out lately, besides the normal over-the-top school/work combo I have! I have felt so much pain in my heart from the pain in the world. I have been stressed because I don't know what else I can do to help heal. Then I realized... spreading the word about healing the world. 

If you choose to dismiss this note, no worries! If it is not for you, thanks for reading (or not) ... thanks for honouring yourself in what makes sense to you. However, I encourage you to step outside of yourself and see what lies beyond yourself. Money is a necessity, yes! Having clothes and food and a place to live is important, but there are more important things out there too. There are things beyond ourselves that require our attention and care. People, the earth, animals and beyond. Spread the love you have inside yourself to others and watch it grow like a flower. 

A burden shared is a burden halved and love shared is love doubled. (funny how that works!)

I am a dreamer...

... and sometimes I wonder if it's worth it?! What does dreaming get me besides a fuzzy little feeling inside? Does it move me forward? Does it hold me back? Does it put me into action? Does it keep me in procrastination? I am tried of feeling like I am being held back by what I really want in this world. But then who is the one holding me back? It must be me because not everyone feels this way. I am bummed man... it's exhausting looking for my passion! Do you think that it is even truly possible to live your passion?? I DO that is why I am so grrr & frustrated!


I don't know if I even know what my passion is besides loving and being loved! I am really damn good at loving people too... but what else do I want from life? I don't know if I know! Well I think I know but then I wonder... do I? YOU KNOW??!!!! Well, this is my gripe about feeling that I won't ever be able to accomplish those things that I want. But what are they you ask... good question!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW! 


Sometimes I feel like when I do write in my blog... which is rare, I know that, that I just send my thoughts out to the world... because well that is what I am doing actually too right! Will there ever be a response???...


Imagine

Justice

I feel very passionate about human rights, about justice for all, and non punitive measures but more holistic or restorative measures of justice. I do not feel that the JUSTICE system in Canada, nor the USA is effective and I believe a very large reason for this is due to the fact that justice does not reign but rather punishment and blame are in control of the system. I feel that our society thinks that if we can blame someone for a wrong doing (whether accurate or not) and punish them, somehow justice is found. A very basic example of our backwards system is the ability to sue for emotional damage due to a situation. Somehow suing someone for all they are worth- or maybe more, remedies the fact that someone has been emotionally compromised by a situation. HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL?

What do I propose? Well, I certainly do not propose that I have all the answers, but I think that a great many ideas and possible solutions exist in the world but that we are too cocky to admit defeat that our system does not work effectively. Just look at the recidivism rates or talk to someone in jail who has learned more about how to be a better criminal that received advice and/or support on how to stop. Or look to someone who is on bail, owes money to the government or a private party- it seems that these are mere roadblocks that are suffered rather that solutions to a wrongdoing.

Restorative justice has done great work because the people that have been victimized come together with those that have done wrong and come to an arrangement together to find a way through the problem. For example, maybe a young person damages an old woman's house. Instead of putting him away for a time being he may be expected to visit the old woman and make the repairs on her house himself. The biggest problem I see with this is that people want to "stick it to them" as in to the person that has caused harm- this only causes further harm. The old woman in the above situation would need to be a big woman to be willing to work with this young person. She would need to be willing to work with him instead of having the state do this to him. Although much harder, the results are much greater.

I am presently reading this novel entitled "Shantaram" by Gregory David Roberts. Gregory Roberts is an ex-con and this book is supposedly his true experiences of running away from jail and running to India. There he met many people and began a medical clinic in a slum where 25,000 people lived. The overseer of the slum is Qasim Ali. In chapter 11 Qasim Ali discusses justice, which he has needed to enforce twice in this chapter, and he says this, " justice is not only the way we punish those who do wrong. It is also the way we try to save them."

think about it!

Love and Respect!
Kelsey

Video of the month

This is a documentary called STREETS OF PLENTY. It is a social experiment about a guy who wanted to know what it was like to be homeless. He not only went down to the Downtown Eastside (Vancouver's sketchy neighborhood notorious for drugs, theft, and homelessness) he also decided he was going to live on the streets for 30 days to experience what it was like.

What sets this documentary apart is that they were skeptics before believing that the homeless people were just lazy and took advantage of all the different services. Needless to say he had a very different perspective at the end of the filming!

Love & Respect!

I went inside a hole for a little while!

Hello again world!

I went away for a little while and am back and alive and well to tell the tale! I went MIA. That's right- missing in action... why? Who really knows because it was time for me to do it. I did not intentionally decide to go MIA, these sorts of things tend to just occur. I felt bogged down, under the weather, very melancholy and it's frustrating because when I am in that space, nothing else really exists. The world feels heavy on my heart and in my eyes. I feel like the world adopts a spectrum of grey colour. I don't like being in that space and am grateful for going sideways when I come out. It's like I am renewed and refreshed like I have just hibernated for a while.

You know when you are sick and don't want to be sick. You fight that you have the flu for a few days and finally give in. But when you give in you have no energy, no sex drive, no desire. You attempt to do normal things but quickly realize you do not have the motivation nor drive to do them. And when you do do things you are horrible at them and they make you more frustrated b/c you know you can do them. But then you sleep... you feel drowsy, you watch horrible TV and movies- drink a lot of tea. And you still feel like garbage. One day, though, you start to feel brighter. You think- AHA! I am coming through this. You get up, shower, put on comfy jeans- which is a step up from the jammies you have been wearing for 3 days, and get some fresh air. You go no further than the end of your block to realize you are plum tuckered out. You attempt to fight the feeling and think- the fresh air will do me some good! You push through it and then are more drained. You retreat to you solitude in your room, tired, exhausted, mad at the world, you sleep, maybe cry a little. The next day you sleep some more. On the 6th day you are feeling okay. You doubt whether the same thing will happen that happened on you walk so you take it slow. You have been wiped out from the flu. But you go out and do something and it isn't as hard. And you laugh, not because of an obligation but because you think something is funny. You eat your favorite food- it tastes good and doesn't make your tummy flip. You are on the mend you are doing okay!

Well folks, I am talking about that first laughter! After being stuck inside for a while that first burst of energy feels more delicious than all the laughter you have ever had. And when you try something again are can do it- there is joy! When your friends call you and you have the desire and energy to join them or even talk to them, which you haven't for the past week- there is joy! And my weird and wonderful world, that is where I am! I am in the joy... I don't know if my MIA phase is completely over... but it's on it's way out. And I could be mad at it and determined to never have a phase like that again. Instead, however, I am grateful to have had it to feel refreshed and renewed and ready to tackle the world again. I am grateful it is over and grateful it has happened. Grateful to see it pass and happy to say goodbye.

Happy sunday everyone!!
Love & Respect!

The heart is a funny thing

Hey world- this is a bit more of a sober post. It's about my Grampa- yes that is how I like to spell it! He is very very very tired! Poor man has been through so much! Too much! He is at home now with his wife, my NAN!! He has a hospital bed there for him and my nan sleeps in the den and does everything and then some for him. He is not ready to let go, and that is perfect because it is! I have never been through anything like this, it is really very emotional! I mean I say that and it's like... well YAH! Your grandfather is on his last legs, of course it's going to be emotional!

The weird thing is what I do to pretend it isn't emotional!! And I believe myself... I don't even know I am emotional. Not true... I have noticed that I have been really really tired, and not quite enjoying things that I usually really really enjoy... really really!!! It's totally protective and I very much understand that, it is just so fascinating to me what we convince ourselves of and believe! I think I understand that I am protecting myself so that I do not feel my pain. It's like if I let a little crack of pain in- everything will come tumbling down. Do any of you feel that way?! One of my really good friends told me that "feeling pain doesn't mean everything comes tumbling down. Because you have those that love you and will care for you and remind you of the god times!" Isn't that really lovely?! She is a gem!

I get really defensive, I guess I don't like to be vulnerable... or only on my watch! Which is really silly and funny at the same time! I mean can one really plan being vulnerable? Oh-- I like that question! What is it to be vulnerable. Strength comes from vulnerability, but why do I avoid it so? It's an unnerving place to be for me. Anyways... those are my thoughts- see I can even feeling myself shutting off now. It's like I have a control button but only up to a certain point. Once I pass the point of no return, I can't control the button anymore. So instead of keep the option open that I might go past the point of no return that may have great benefits, I don't even let myself open that up. I shut it down before I even get a chance. Wow that is not smart!! So immature of me... strength! I have to remember I am strong and supported by the ENTIRE WORLD!! The whole universe is one big support system, if I let it be! So I just have to let it be- even if that means being a little vulnerable! Even if that means, I don't have it all figured out but I think that last little bit makes sense.

To world- I love you and I know you love me! Thanks for loving me back and giving me opportunities to trust you and believe and know that you support and love me too!!

Love & Respect!

Happy Day of LOVE!!

Hello world... it is that day again, the day some people love, some people dread, and some people think is all about consumerism! That's right it is Valentines day!!! I agree that there is a huge part of this day that has become about consumerism. "My partner got me this, what did your partner get you?" "What should I get my partner, what if my gift is more/less than theirs?"

Another common theme on this day might be: "I don't have a partner, I am so alone- I hate Valentines Day and all those people in love!!" So, on a day like today we must ask... What Would St. Valentine Do? But since I cannot ask him, nor do I know much about him at all there seems to be a dead end. Valentine's Day, aside from the commercialism and our societies desperation around defining their self-worth and identity on whether one has a partner or not, Valentine's Day seems to be about L-O-V-E!!

We all know what love is, I hope! One can love one's parents, one's pet, one's friends, running, the mountains, tea... the list is endless really! So why has Valentine's day been restricted to romantic love only? I say get out there and do what you love with who you love!! If you love your dog, go for a walk. If you love your siblings- make dinner and a movie. If you love yourself- treat yourself! This is a day of love for crying out loud... let's take advantage of it and not be caught up in the meaningless meaning we attribute to it!! And if you have a partner- do something AWESOME together to demonstrate your love for each other perhaps even without a price tag????!!!!

Love & Respect!

Video of the month

This is a video my friend's mother sent me. It's a breast cancer PINK GLOVE dance!! I love that so many people came together to make this video. It's really a people for people thing. Check it out and let me know what you think :)

Pink Glove Dance


Love & Respect!

Watching the elderly age

I am so very lucky! I am 24 and have all 4 grandparents alive and well with me. Not only that I have grown up with them at my birthdays, their birthdays, christmases, thanksgivings... well you get the idea! We have all shared the lovely city of Vancouver and formed a slightly tightly knit group! It's funny how over the years our Christmas table has gone a little senile, let us say! It has been comical to see those around me yelling at each other neither really knowing what the other is saying whilst they are stuck in their own little world! Okay, well I do exaggerate a little.

My mum's mum- my grampa (yes I spell it that way on purpose) has been through the ringer I tell you. And he had his 4th heart attack on December 31st. He came out of the hospital shortly after and then went back in just this past Wednesday- Jan 20th because we thought he was having seizures. My parents were in Mexico and we called them to come back home and they did! My grampa is slipping and no longer the man I know. I see him there, sitting in his chair, no longer speaking, no longer able to feed himself... and that ll happened just in a very few days.

It's so painfully sad to see my Nan- his wife- with him. It is so beautiful and so sad at the same time. She is clinging to everything she can. And why wouldn't she! It is her RIGHT to do so. She is at the hospital every morning to give him breakfast, shower him... then lunch. She goes home for a few hours and then back for dinner. This is her husband, her partner, her lover, he life! Despite their very interesting dance of love it is so ever present every moment they are together. She yells at him and he mutters something inappropriate under his breath that she can't hear and she calls him a "stupid bugger" every day! Well- that's what used to happen. Now she kisses him, rubs her hand gently upon his cheek, feeds him, chats with him without much response... but there is still a connection there. A beautiful connection understood by only them!

Love runs deep in their veins ... oh so very deep! What will happen next we shall see! I have seen him everyday except yesterday because I needed a break. It is so emotionally draining! And somehow I am supposed to carry on with real life too????!!!! As in I have school tomorrow??????!!!! I am supposed to go! And I will go- just having a bit of a distraction might be what I need.

Love & Respect!

I Don't know!

It's funny how little things catch you by surprise from places you didn't even know and make you smile. It's funny how when you need support it creeps up from out of nowhere and catches you. It's funny how when you are so focused on "abc" it's really the "lmnop" that make all the difference! It's funny how you take what you have for granted until you don't have it anymore.

I don't know why these are the rules of the world, the lay of the land! It seems a bit backwards and upside down to me. Trusting what the process is and trusting that I may not know but the world may brings peace in times of uncertainty. It's odd because it is a blind trust- a blind faith. But isn't that what faith is inherently? Faith is not knowing and trusting anyways!

Love & Respect!

I believe in L-O-V-E!

I believe in God- or higher power or something else out there. I believe in a big man upstairs! I believe that we are all connected. I believe that I can trust this moment and that that is enough. I believe love is enough... but it has to come from each person. I believe that love is the most powerful thing in the world that a cubic centimeter of pure 100% love has more energy in it than a big ball of fire.

Why do I believe all these things you may or may not wonder? Because it is everywhere? Don't you see it? Don't you feel it? It's in the smiles, it's in the lucky pennies, it's in the pain and the suffering because people gather around and support one another in the more beautiful manner when pain strikes. It's in the man I met the other day who told me about changing the world and what he would do if her were 20 years younger (i'll leave that for another post). It's in a helping hand. It's in the THANKS that you didn't expect. It's in the THANKS that you didn't get and got it x4 later that day but didn't realize because you were still upset about the lack of THANKS earlier in the day.

It's in the wind in my hair, it's in the sun on my face. It's in the frigid cold in your bones when you look at a stranger and know you are feeling the same feeling. It's in that interconnected web where I don't know the person beside me but I get to be a part of their life for 15 minutes and they get to be a part of my life for 15 minutes. It's in understanding nothing and trusting blindly. It's in hate and anger because that is really pain due to a lack of something that can only be resolved with love.

For me, God is love! I don't know when I came to this conclusion... but it's that simple. The big bang... talk about power of intention where this world we know came out of a big explosion of LOVE! We are in it everyday... we are surrounded. Do you see it? Do you choose to see it? Those stuck in victim are happy there and I need to learn to be happy for you there. Im not good at that! I always think things can be better... more... better. Sometimes they just are and that too- is perfect love!

Don't think I don't have pain, fear, anger because I do... I cry- in fact I feel like I would cry if I weren't at school right now. Emotions are funny sometimes because right now I feel joy, peace, sad, pain, hurt and LOVE and I want to cry- figure that one out.

I challenge you to see the love today. Notice it. See it. Feel it. Smell it. It's there just waiting for you to pick it up and trust it!

Love and Respect!

Another week over... and the welcoming of a new decade!

We all know that New Years Eve can be hyped up to the max and we can be disappointed. I do not know one person that doesn't believe this, even a little bit. But what happens time after time after time? We go out... drink ourselves into a stupor and complain about our heads the next morning. What about spending the first day of a fresh new year hungover sounds attractive?!?!! It doesn't do much for me world!

This year was one of the best Christmases and New Years in my life! New Years... 6 friends (including myself) we at my friends beach house. We tequila shotted at midnight and I made everyone make a wish... or at least proposed that people should! It was a blue moon folks. That only happens once every 20 years. BIG THINGS!!!

A blue moon is when there is a second full moon in any month. A blue moon happens only every few years but on new years eve only every 20 years. There was an eclipse which, apparently, weakens the strength of the blue moon but a new decade rung in with a blue moon- I am A-OK with that one!!!

Happy New Year... make it magical because the power is in you to make your life what you want it. This is the first day of the rest of your life... what are YOU going to do?!

Love and Respect!