Dear WORLD!

Dear World,

I know people say that we create our own reality and that we are 100% responsible for how things go. I know also that people say we create struggle and that is not really what was intended for this world and that it is not necessary. Do those things not seem completely polar opposite views? Is that just me that sees that? I feel like I am trying to turn around the bloody Titanic, in a ferocious wind storm and I'm blind! Now that is a feat! Maybe I don't need to turn it around though...

Hmmm... maybe a redirection of where I am heading will suffice! OH I LIKE THAT! If I can drown out the noise around me, then I think I will know where to go. That's a feat in and of itself now isn't it! Sometimes I don't even know what is my thought and what is the world around me's thought. And that I don't like.

What does my heart crave? Love, joy, truth! I desire to write, travel, sing, dance and photograph. If I were to truly do those things, though, COULD I MAKE A LIVING?! Isn't that the question everyday? How are you going to make a living? What are you going to do? Where are you going? You need to grow up and stop doing nothing! You need to figure out what you want to do and do it!

OK OK OK OK OK OK!!! I get it, and believe me I want that too! I need to just shhhhhh for a little while! I need the world to STOP spinning and for me to STOP spinning and to just rest, and live, and realize what it is that I want. Because I don't know what I want to do right now! Do I stay in Vancouver? Do I leave? Where do I go? Do I work here where I am unhappy? Do I school? Do I work and school? Well-  one thing I know- no school at least! That I am FIRM ON! The other stuff I really do not know!

Do what I want and the rest will follow huh! I will do that! Wish me luck!

Love and Respect!